"Eyes open wide but I'm blind to the sight, too busy chasing the perfect life."

Welcoming 2012 with open arms; over the past year or so, I have not changed but more so grown as a person. All I have to do is take a look at the way I use to think when I started this blog, compared to now. I was young and naive, I guess I was sucked in to this system we live in; I use to pay so much attention to what people thought of me that at times, social expectations got the best of me and I forgot who I really was, and who I wanted to be.

2011 was above all; a year of growth. Without sounding like I've gone a little crazy, I'm at peace with myself and everything seems to make sense...I really do feel so blessed to be surrounded by beautiful people; from my family to my close friends. It really is true, nothing in life really matters unless you have people to share it with. I've discovered what it really means to live; to find beauty in the mundane (such as the beautiful fluffy squirrel I am currently watching prance around in my garden as I type).

“People usually consider walking on water or in thin air a miracle. But I think the real miracle is not to walk either on water or in thin air, but to walk on earth. Every day we are engaged in a miracle which we don’t even recognize: a blue sky, white clouds, green leaves, the black, curious eyes of a child — our own two eyes. All is a miracle.”

—	Thich Nhat Hanh

There are so many people (I use to be one of them) who are so oblivious to the real beauty of life; too busy living for other people and living up to others expectations. Life doesn't begin until you start living for yourself and start appreciating that the mere fact that you're alive and breathing and reading this, is a miracle. There are so many misfortunes and people suffering in the world, people dying and starving on a daily basis; if you're reading this and you're healthy, have a roof over your head and endless opportunities waiting to be devoured...it is a miracle.

I may not have the power to change the world but I intend to make the little bit around me a better place. I've discovered that it's not what you get, but what you give out in to the world that matters...

If you're reading this and are a little confused; as they say; it cannot be understood, only experienced.

Here's to facing fears, honesty, spreading positivity and living how you want to be remembered. Better leave it here as I have goals to achieve, I leave you with Akala...listen carefully.

Success; part of the list

Ralph Waldo Emerson stated that ‘To win the affection of children’ was part of a list of what it meant to have succeeded in life. Some may frown and think okaaay…..but I can wholly relate. It warms my heart when I make babies/children happy and see their delicate little faces light up in to a smile. When I spend time with them and actually communicate. People wonder why I love babies/children so much - this may sound silly, but I find it easier to relate to children than some people my age because they have no hidden agendas or motives, undamaged by society….they represent human beings in their purest form….they’re real.

They’re unfazed by the cruel world and just want to be cared for and adored…for somebody to simple just be there and give them time. Today I spent quality time with my beautiful niece and nephews and just being there with them, playing with them, watching them learn and grow over the years into their own little characters…is such a precious, beautiful thing and receiving their affection back, is an entire reward in itself. So yes, Ralph Waldo Emerson I’m with you.

A little goes a long way

A few weeks ago, whilst happily chomping at my dinner I was disturbed by a phone call. Those who know me know that nothing comes between my food and me; this better be good. On the other end of the phone all the way across the world in Hong Kong, was a man in reach of the people who saved his wife and child’s life.

As I sat cross-legged and comfy on my hard wooden living room floor, my Granddad explained the confusing call. Thirty years ago, my late Grandma provided shelter in her own home in Vietnam, for a mother and her newborn baby – they were complete strangers.

Thirty years worth of asking around, long distant calls and letters sent around the world later…the husband of this lady had finally tracked my family down, declaring his appreciation from across the world. It was a small gesture from my Grandma that thirty years on - still had an impact.

In a world where we’re all so unconsciously self-absorbed, it seems that we have become a generation that has forgotten and underestimated the importance of humanity. How often do you stop and give the time of day to a stranger who looks like they could do with some help? That fragile old lady who needed help with lifting her suitcase off a train, or the stranger who needed directions? Most likely you shrug it off and excuse it with ‘oh they’ll manage’ or ‘I’m sure somebody else will help’. These thoughts have run through my head too.

See, it’s these little moments where we turn our head and walk away which could brighten somebody’s day, or in some cases - change their life. Luckily for me, I love old people. I’ll never forget the smile and gleam of appreciation in the eyes of an old lady I once helped. Go and help that fragile old lady.

by Jessica Ly.

Rest in peace Grandma Ly you beautiful, amazing woman

"Don't be judgmental, be curious."

(Myself and TRAPHIK aka Timothy DeLaghetto)

(Tim & Ricky performing at Scala)

(The boys' meet and greet session)

(Michelle behind the camera whilst I was interviewing)

(Lil crazed & Traphik meeting & greeting fans)

(Ricky Shucks giving a shoutout to my little cousins....)

(Myself, Michelle & lovely Benji)

We all do it. As soon as we see somebody, whether it be the person we walk past on the street or the person sitting next to us on the bus...we instantly judge them based on their image or what we think we know of them. We build up a picture of what they could be like. We all do it...but it doesn't make it right because the majority of the time; we're probably far from the truth.

Take the other day for example; I went to an event at Scala, London to the Traphik and Lil crazed event. For those who are thinking who on earth are they?! They are both American entertainers/rappers who have earned a name for themselves through YouTube - type 'Timothy' and 'Lil C' in YouTube, they'll be the first ones that'll pop up...in a sense they are 'YouTube stars'. At the event were also the lovely Ricky and Ben (manager of Lil crazed). I know what you're all thinking, it's probably similar to the reactions I received whilst speaking about them to other people who hadn't heard of them before - the raised eyebrow and 'YouTube stars? Seriously?' But before you're too quick to judge...remember these are people who make YouTube videos, get a few hundred thousand views hours later...and make a living from it.

I'll be honest; I expected these guys to be pretentious with big egos...but I couldn't have been more wrong. During the club event I observed how they made time for each and every fan, talking, having fun, taking huuuuuundreds of pictures....and I managed to convince Traphik aka Timothy Delaghetto to pinky promise to do an interview for an upcoming project.

The next day where they held a meet and greet event, I was humbled as I observed them speaking to and taking pictures, receiving gifts and their general interaction with fans. They couldn't have been more down to earth, genuine, sweet and funny. "Hey I recognise you, I'm subscribed to you on YouTube!" and "Hey I know you, you tweet us all the time!" are a few memorable lines to fans. Four hours of meet and greet (this was the day after the event, where they went to bed at 6am and went shopping in the morning/afternoon before the meet and greet) they still made time and effort and laughed and joked with each and every fan. I have nothing but love and respect for people who are successful yet manage to remain humble, people who appreciate the people who support them rather than develop a huge ego. I felt an instant pang of guilt as I gradually got to know the real them over the two days - definitely not pretentious - total opposite; intelligent, sweet, funny, kind...

Moral of the story: don't ever judge a book by its cover - the inside may surprise you....

P.S We miss you Americans boys!!

The little things...

This was drawn by my beautiful six year old cousin, six going on sixty. She’s wiser than half the people I know my age, asks me questions about life even I couldn’t answer…it’s a beautiful thing. I love children because they represent human beings in their purest form; no motives or hidden agendas or being misguided or deluded by society. Just kids in the big wide world who want to be adored.

Coming clean.

It's crazy.

I haven't been posting for while because I've been feeling disconnected from Fashionbake. I look back at previous posts on here and I cringe. I even considered deleting this blog altogether. Throughout the two years I've had this blog, I don't feel like I've been my real and honest self...or maybe I have but I was just a little lost. Perhaps it's the vast amount of personal growth that I've experienced lately that has made me realise how much I've not changed, but grown as a person. I haven't blogged properly since before I started my second year at uni, it's difficult to explain or even put into words...but I've been on the journey of self discovery and personal growth. Without sounding like I've joined some sort of cult, I'm seeing things like I've never seen them before. My perspective has been sharpened, my eyes opening.

Before, I didn't post certain things or write certain things in the fear of who might read it, what people may think...but I promise from here on, there'll be wholly honesty and the truth. I cared too much about what other people thought about what I posted, the things I wrote or the general fear of being judged; I'm done with that. I'm not here to live up to anybody's expectations but my own.

Here's to being real.

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